


of the past

by aaxbbxx



Series: The Socialites [4]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Kinda fluff, M/M, Sanha knows but also not, before they got together, explains Minhyuk's room in the present, he's really soft for Sanha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 17:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19323211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaxbbxx/pseuds/aaxbbxx
Summary: When the rich suffers, sometimes there was no sympathy for them, some people thinking they deserve the pain they feel. But they were human too, they hurt and have emotions, however they knew how other people would see them, that was why most of the time, when the rich do suffer, they tend to keep it to themselves or make themselves fall deeper into the very pain they are suffering from. It was twisted and unhealthy, but sometimes that was all they know how to do.





	of the past

When the rich _suffers_ , sometimes there was no sympathy for them, some people thinking they deserve the pain they feel. But they were _human_ too, they hurt and have emotions, however they knew how other people would see them, that was why most of the time, when the rich do suffer, they tend to keep it to themselves or make themselves fall _deeper_ into the very pain they are suffering from. It was twisted and unhealthy, but sometimes that was all they _know_ how to do.

 

Yoon Sanha had suffered throughout his life. He grew up with more than enough in his bank account, with more money than any other child would have at the age of five, but despite his wealth, he never was happy. When he came out, he was shamed for it. When his mother died, he was blamed for her death. When he was not what his father wanted, he was molded to fit into the character his father wanted him to be, the character he played for years that made him often forget who he really was; adding the fact that being a socialite brought in media that splashed his name everywhere and defamed him. Yoon Sanha was never really the Yoon Sanha he wished to be.

 

Over the years, as he grew to be handsome and _pretty_ as everyone would say, his father saw this as something disgusting but used it to his advantage. Poor Yoon Sanha, fed to the dogs to be toyed with and there was nothing he could do. Aside from that, the number of beatings when things don’t go the way his father wanted would always send him into a spiral of wishing that he were dead, wishing that he’d end up beaten to death, thinking it was better than the life he was living. But years later, he was still alive and kicking.

 

On the day his father died, Sanha didn’t shed a tear. Why would he when all his father ever did was treat him as property and never a son. He thought the suffering would stop there, but it only continued. There was too much damage to his name, too many people believing what they see on the surface. Sanha thought there was no point in changing his lifestyle, no point of trying to become what he really was.

 

Sanha met people, people who cared more for him than any other he ever met. But along with them came someone who hated him as much as his father did, as much as everyone did.

 

Rocky never did say anything upfront. But his actions spoke loud and clear, he didn’t want anything to do with Sanha, but he had to because his friends were Sanha’s friends; they were in the same circle and bound to meet no matter how much the other probably didn’t want to. Sanha’s mistake was to fall for Rocky. He spent years masking his feelings, avoiding the business mogul if he had the chance so the other wouldn’t hate him anymore than he did. But somehow they bridged the gap (few years too long) and months after that fateful day, the day Rocky found out of the truth, they were slowly building their friendship.

 

 

 

_It was silent until Sanha let out a little, "Okay."_

 

_"Okay?" Rocky wanted to be sure Sanha understood that this wasn't anything about pitying him._

 

_Sanha turned to him and smiled. "Okay, be my friend and I forgive you."_

 

 

 

It was weird at first. The couple of weeks following that day, the day where the past was left behind (though not completely because things are never really forgotten, just forgiven) were awkward. Sanha wasn’t used to Rocky being so open and _smiling_ , had always been used to the older scowling at him. Their conversations were filled with crickets, but they were trying, Rocky was trying. But then, Rocky became _Minhyuk_ , a soft, smiley and caring version that he only ever had seen twice in the years before, now he got to see it everyday. Their friend dynamic was different than the ones he shared with Jinwoo and Dongmin, and even Myungjun and Bin, aside from the fact that Sanha was in love with the man, they just had a bond that he couldn’t describe. After being friends with Minhyuk, he wondered if he could ever go back to the past where Minhyuk didn’t exist in his life and he found he couldn’t bear to even imagine that.

 

They had weekly sleepovers now, movie nights, and Sanha was sure he saw Minhyuk more than Jinwoo and Dongmin and they were his so called brothers who were always being mother hens. A couple months into their friendship, and somehow he was able to make a space of his own in Minhyuk’s home, how the business mogul allowed him to bring in fairy lights and stuffed animals in his spare bedroom where he stayed over during movie nights. Similarly, there was pieces of Minhyuk in his own home, his coffee mug in the cupboard, his spare glasses, and his small collection of sweaters (though Sanha was sure it was because he kept stealing them); overall, their friendship was something Sanha cherished.

 

But there are still things he kept to himself, though Minhyuk knew of his past, he never really knew the extent of it, their other friends never asked for the gory details but just like Minhyuk, they didn’t know how bad it really was. Sometimes he’d dream, more like a nightmare really, and he’d wake up with cold sweat and a scream lost in his throat, and sleep never really came easy after that. One of the reasons he had insomnia was his fear of those tainted memories he wished he forgot. That was probably how Minhyuk delved deeper into his past. On one of their many sleepovers, Sanha had fallen asleep with Minhyuk, had forgotten to trudge to the guest room, and the one thing he tried to avoid ended up happening.

 

 

 

 

"-ha!"

 

Sanha woke with a fright, a scream lodged in his throat. He was met with wide worried eyes that calmed him enough to cease his screaming. He gulped down lungfuls of air, as Minhyuk wrapped him in his arms, hand going up and down his back to calm him. He was shaking from the nightmare he just had, a reliving of memory that he was cursed to never forget.

 

The feeling of a hand coming down on his bare skin, the feel of glass cutting through, made him shiver and pull away from Minhyuk. His hand automatically going to his side, the souvenir of his past lay taunting and had since marked him. His skin crawled and he felt his fingers twitch, wanting to do something. Beside him Minhyuk had gotten up and got a glass of water which he handed to Sanha to drink slowly. As he finished, he watched as Minhyuk placed the glass on his nightstand before sitting back down on the bed and faced Sanha, full of concern and curiosity.

 

“Are you okay now?” Minhyuk grabbed his hand and squeezed it comfortingly before releasing it. Sanha nodded in response, though he knew he would prabably not be okay, not for a long while. “Nightmare huh? You get them often?”

 

“Yeah.” Sanha croaked, smacking his lips together.

 

Minhyuk pursed his lips in thought. “It’s not just nightmares is it?”

 

Minhyuk was smart, Sanha knew that, he wouldn’t be successful in his career if he wasn’t, but Sanha had hoped he wouldn’t catch on so quick.

 

“You can tell me.”

 

Sanha looked at him through his lashes, just realizing how they were a tad wet, he must have been crying in his sleep as well. He wasn't sure where to start, whether he should tell Minhyuk or not, but a part of him wants to get it out of his chest, not for pity or sympathy, just so he could breathe knowing he wasn't alone in this world.

 

"No it's not."

 

Minhyuk didn't say anything in response, just stared at Sanha, waiting for him to continue. Sanha licked his dry lips, avoiding Minhyuk's gaze, the stare too much for him to handle. They were silent for a moment, Sanha gathering the courage to say what he wanted – _needed_ – to say, while Minhyuk patiently waited.

 

"It was a memory," Sanha traced patterns on the duvet, head swirling with painful reminders of his past. "Amongst many. But...they always had the same theme."

 

Sanha breathed out slowly as Minhyuk's hand came into view and grasped his own.

 

"This one was probably the worst ones. I was a few years younger, probably during the time we were still acquaintances at best–"

 

"I'm sorry about that."

 

Sanha waved him off with a shake of head. "It's okay, we've moved on. Anyway..." he slowly laid back down on the pillow, feeling like he needed to if he were to reveal something so big, Minhyuk followed him so they lay facing each other, the business mogul not releasing his hand. "Do you remember a huge party my father had thrown where he practically invited almost every socialite there was? Even celebrities?"

 

Minhyuk looked in thought before nodding. "Yeah, I remember, I was pretty much swallowed by the crowd looking for our friends, and your father's house was _huge_. But I don't really remember why he threw such party."

 

"Well, he was celebrating a huge business contract, bigger than he had acquired from before..." Sanha swallowed the lump in his throat at what was coming next. "The thing was though, there was a slight _term_ they had agreed on before anything solid can happen. I don't know if you remember but I was pulled away from you guys almost at the end of the night by my father. He had led me up to one of his study rooms where Mr. Kang, the one who was going into business with him who was practically a grandfather, was waiting. What my father had forgotten to mention was that I was the term they had agreed upon–"

 

"What?!" Minhyuk sat up, eyes ablaze, understanding and anger in his gaze. "How can he do that? He's your father for fuck sakes!"

 

Sanha placed a hand on the older's chest. "It's okay, that didn't happen." When Minhyuk laid back down, he pulled Sanha close and gripped his hand tight. "But since I refused, the merger didn't happen. If you remember, after the party, no one had seen me for a week."

 

Sanha closed his eyes, can still feel the pain from that night. "I was punished for causing him billions, for causing him business because I refused to sleep with that old man he was going into business with. My father was always fond of his belt, and he was fond of using it on me." He heard Minhyuk's breath hitch. "I was pretty much bedridden the whole week, trying to recover from the worst lashings I had ever received...the last few times didn't hurt as much as that night. That was pretty much the reason why I was almost always with Jinwoo-hyung and Dongmin-hyung after, not wanting to be near my father unless absolutely necessary."

 

Sanha didn't open his eyes, and it was a moment or two before he was pulled the rest of the way and was engulfed in Minhyuk's arms.

 

"I'm so _sorry_ Sanha." Minhyuk kept repeating. "So sorry."

 

Sanha nuzzled close, feeling the comfort Minhyuk brought. "It's in the past."

 

"Still, no one should have been through all that. And _I_ was horrible to you, when you were–"

 

"Minhyuk." The older fell silent and Sanha continued, "I grew up being hated by my father, and yes I suffered but he's not here anymore. The memories still haunt me, but I'm just glad I'm still alive."

 

Minhyuk didn't say anything, just tightened his arms around Sanha. Sanha figured he shouldn't tell Minhyuk of the countless times he had attempted to take his life, wouldn't want the older to feel so sad and burdened anymore than he was. Maybe in time, he can share that part of him, how he overcame those thoughts, but for now, this was more than enough sharing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After that night, Sanha's place in Minhyuk's guest room has been vacated and every time he slept over, he'd sleep in Minhyuk's room with the older. He wasn't sure, but every time he fell asleep with Minhyuk, he never got nightmares ever since. He had taken to decorating Minhyuk's bedroom with not only fairylights but some stuffed animals that he and Minhyuk won in claw machines had also taken a home around the bedroom, some on the bed while others were on the nightstand and dressers.

 

"Sanha, my room is supposed to reflect my cold personality, now it's..." Minhyuk eyed his room with wide eyes, the bears, the lights. "Not."

 

Sanha giggled as he laid in bed, flicking through various movies they were to watch. "Shut up, you're not _cold_ , you're a softie at heart!"

 

Minhyuk leapt on the bed and tickled him for the comment. Sanha struggled to breathe as he laughed hard. When they had enough, Minhyuk laid beside him as they finally settled on a movie, and as usual Sanha cuddled close to the elder.

 

As the movie played, Sanha wondered that it was true what they always say, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. It may have taken long, but there was always a bright new beginning, and as Minhyuk tightened his arm around his shoulder, Sanha found that this was his.


End file.
